PHS 004 | Quest Québécois

Report No.: PHS-004

Report Name: "Quest Québécois"

Report By: DX5

[ Listen & Download Broadcast ]

Transmission Start: 11.28.2022, 22:00 PST

Transmission End: 11.29.2022, 00:00 PST

Current Ship Coords: 47°27'43.7"N 72°47'26.2"W

Report

1-  Materials & Methods

Homo Sonicus Specimens (5):

• Christopher Rigsby - a human of Plattburgh, NY, USA
• Philippe Lalanne - a human of Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu, QC, CAN
• David Blouin - a human of Drummondville, QC, CAN
• Pierre Brouillette-Hamelin - a human of Trois-Rivieres, QC, CAN
• ReliefCook - a human of La Tuque, QC, CAN

2-  Protocol

Abductees were subjected to extensive auditory probing using The Proboscis.

3-  Results

[ Intro Song: Lemon Gold & The Sneaky Snakes - "Getting Drunk at Graceland" ]

[ Abductee 1: Christopher Rigsby ]

1. Our Holy Orgasmic Cosmic Rays - "Baby Sale"
2. Lemon Gold & The Sneaky Snakes - "Lenin Cracks Nuts"
3. Our Holy Orgasmic Cosmic Rays - "Death Rides a Pale Duck"
4. Lemon Gold & The Sneaky Snakes - "Wop Doo Time"
5. Lemon Gold & The Sneaky Snakes - "Hiding in the Shower"

[ Abductee 2: Philippe Lalanne ]

1. Philippe Lalanne - "Never Forget"
2. Philippe Lalanne - "Coup de foudre"
3. Philippe Lalanne - "Amertume"

[ Abductee 3: David Blouin ]

1. Crystal Grunt - "Alien Observer"
2. David Blouin Trio - "Hell"
3. Mo Masaya & David Blouin - "Oracle Divination"
4. Crystal Grunt - "The Calm After the Storm"

[ Abductee 4: Pierre Brouillette-Hamelin ]

1. Pierre Brouillette-Hamelin - "Le malaise international"
2. Pierre Brouillette-Hamelin - "La vallee des miettes"
3. Pierre Brouillette-Hamelin - "Reve premonitoire"

[Recordings Collected by Jarvis]

1. Evolution Phase 1 - "Theme pour La Mort"
2. L'infonie - "Paix Prelude"
3. L'infonie - "Paix Section 1-17"

[ Abductee 5: ReliefCook ] 

1. ReliefCook - "les fabuleux details"
2. RXDXCTXD - "6737 drone grazer"
3. ReliefCook - "ca sonne comme 3 mains"
4. RXDXCTXD - "5785 grinding teeth"

4-  Conclusions

The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Quebec was found to be sufficient. The musicians from this region that we abducted tended toward extended moody soundscapes and utilized the French language. 

PHS 003 | Vermont Visitation

Report No.: PHS-003

Report Name: "Vermont Visitation"

Report By: DX5

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Transmission Start: 11.21.2022, 22:00 PST

Transmission End: 11.22.2022, 00:00 PST

Current Ship Coords: 44°33'00.4"N 73°17'23.4"W

Report

1-  Materials & Methods

Homo Sonicus Specimens (5):

• Chris Weisman - a human of Brattleboro, VT, USA
• Ruth Garbus - a human of Brattleboro, VT, USA
• Nick Dentico - a human of East Montpelier, VT, USA
• J.B. LeDoux - a human of Burlington, VT, USA
• Joey Agresta - a human of Burlington, VT, USA

2-  Protocol

Abductees were subjected to extensive auditory probing via The Proboscis.

3-  Results

[ Intro Song: Blanche Blanche Blanche - "Time to Remember" ]

[ Abductee 1: Chris Weisman ]

1. Chris Weisman - "Ryan Power"
2. Better Psychics - "Vision of a Stranger (Normal)"
3. Better Psychics - "What is Rule?"
4. Chris Weisman - "Sidesaddle on the Sun"
5. Chris Weisman - "Maya Properties"

[ Abductee 2: Ruth Garbus ]

1. Feathers - "Ulna"
2. Ruth Garbus - "Video Piano"
3. Ruth Garbus - "June"
4. Ruth Garbus - "Pain"

[ Abductee 3: Nick Dentico ]

1. nd dentico - "At Mallory Brook"
2. nd dentico - "Field Recording Cut Up"

[Recordings Collected by Jarvis - Buch Spieler Records]

1. Jazzin' Hell - "unlisted"
2. The Kon-taks - "One of These Days"
3. Wards - "Digger"
4. Happy Jawbone Family Band - "TREAT YR MAMA RIGHT"
5. Happy Jawbone Family Band - "The Wrong Wings"
6. Blanche Blanche Blanche - "That's Siberia"
7. Surrender to the Air - "And Furthermore"
8. Jazzin' Hell - "Moon Tune (Live)"

[ Abductee 4: J.B. LeDoux ]

1. Jo Bled - "Positude! Part 1"
2. Jo Bled - "Live @ CoS 4 26 22 w- Jay Blanchard"

[ Abductee 5: Joey Agresta ] 

1. Joey Agresta - "Jerks"
2. Joey Agresta - "I Dream of Love"
3. Son of Salami - "Wonderful World"
4. Son of Salami - "Frozen Town"
5. Son of Salami - "Baby Mayo"
6. Salami Junior - "Get Me Out of America"

[ Closing Songs: (1) The Lentils -  "A Theory of Drowning" ]

[                (2) Blanche Blanche Blanche - "The River" ]

4-  Conclusions

The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Vermont was found to be sufficient. The musicians in this region have a penchant for tinkering with cassette equipment to achieve peculiar low-fidelity sonic results - spanning from off-beat folk songs to noise improvisations on hand-crafted instruments. The crew of the Sombrero found these artifacts charming and pleasing to the ear.

PHS 002 | Maine Sequence Stars

Report No.: PHS-002

Report Name: "Maine Sequence Stars"

Report By: DX5

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Transmission Start: 11.14.2022, 22:00 PST

Transmission End: 11.15.2022, 00:00 PST

Current Ship Coords: 43°38'23.7"N 70°15'37.8"W

Report

1-  Materials & Methods

Homo Sonicus Specimens (5):

• N.B. Aldrich - a human of Sedgwick, ME, USA
• Matt LaJoie - a human of Brunswick, ME, USA
• Aaron 'Hot Dog' Haines - a human of Portland, ME, USA
• Morgan Tindall - a human of Portland, ME, USA
• Hillary Dickerson - a human of Portland, ME, USA

2-  Protocol

Abductees were subjected to extensive auditory probing via The Proboscis.

3-  Results

[ Intro Song: Pine Tree State Mind Control - "Do It" ]

[ Abductee 1: N.B. Aldrich ]

1. MAP Intermedia - "Part 1 - Discontents"

[Recordings Collected by Jarvis]

1. The Cobras - "Instant Heartache"
2. Euphoria's Id - "I Just Don't Understand You Baby"
3. Euphoria's Id - "The Joker" (demo)
4. Seekonk - "Hate the Sun"
5. Big Blood - "Everything is Improving"
6. Pine Tree State Mind Control - "Trans-vibral [growl]"

[ Abductee 2: Matt LaJoie ]

1. Matt LaJoie - "Land Mass"

[ Abductee 3: Aaron 'Hot Dog' Haines ]

1. Celebrity Handshake - "Time to Go"
2. Aaron Haines - "I've Got Something To Tell You!"
3. Celebrity Handshake - "Gotta Go Home"

[ Abductee 4: Morgan Tindall ]

1. dinky mirage - "Side 001" (005) 

[ Abductee 5: Hillary Dickerson ] 

1. aeiyiyiyi - "meta incognita"
2. Pine Smoke Lodge - "The Children and the Child"
3. Pine Smoke Lodge - "Neue Zeit"

4-  Conclusions

The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Maine was found to be adequate. This finding was supported by the ease in locating Homo sonicus in the surveyed zones and the diversity of sounds harvested from each subject. Some common throughlines included psychedelic folk and collaged/patchwork electronics leanings, and inclusion of subliminal messaging.

PHS 001 | Attack! on Atlantic Canada

Report No.: PHS-001

Report Name: "Attack! on Atlantic Canada"

Report By: DX5

[ Listen & Download Broadcast ]

Transmission Start: 11.07.2022, 22:00 PST

Transmission End: 11.08.2022, 00:00 PST

Current Ship Coords: 46°08'55.6"N 66°42'45.3"W

Report

1-  Materials & Methods

Homo Sonicus Specimens (5) + Felis Sonicus Specimens (1):

• Cody Googoo - a human of Dartmouth, NS, CAN
• Jay Crocker - a human of Crousetown, NS, CAN
• Emily Saab - a human of Saint John, NB, CAN
• Jud Crandall - a human of Saint John, NB, CAN
• Boris the Cat - a feline of Fredericton, NB, CAN
• Dennis Goodwin - a human of Fredericton, NB, CAN

2-  Protocol

The Proboscis was used to extract sonic data from each specimen.

3-  Results

All subjects were fully cooperative upon sedation.

[ Abductee 1: Cody Googoo ]

1. Heavenly Blue - "Spending Time at the Bar"
2. Science Project - "Beautiful Human"
3. Talentless Hack - "Violence" (Coneheads)
4. Proper Suggestions - "Scorched Feelings"
5. Unreal Thought - "Howling in the Streets"
6. Mutated Void - "Adhd"
7. Gemstones - "Wanna Be Well"
8. Negative Rage - "Poor Born" (Dead Moon)
9. Ugly Son - "Maritime Metal"
10. Heavenly Blue - "Run Out of Town"
11. Booji Boys - "Lucky Citizen"
12. Science Project - "Deformed Depraved"

[ Abductee 2: Jay Crocker ]

1. JOYFULTALK - "Take It To The Grave"
2. Jay Crocker - "Dirty Old Nights"
3. Cousins & Duzheknew - "Throwing Rocks"
4. JOYFULTALK - "Ballad in 9"

[ Abductees 3 & 4: Emily Saab / Jud Crandall ]

1. Usse - "European Bleating"
2. Usse - "Bad Gateway"
3. Usse - "Neoliberalism Will Perish The Diversities of Agriculture"
4. Usse - "Peace / Agency" (Construction & Destruction)
   

[Recordings Collected by Jarvis]

1. Mort Garson - "This Is My Beloved"
2. Ataraxia - "Astral Projection"
3. Eric's Trip - "View Master"
4. Elevator - "Love"

[ Abductee 5: Boris the Cat ]

1. Women of the Pore - "The Lows"
2. ZEIT - "Haxan"
3. FAXES - "Call Out His Name"

[ Abductee 6: Dennis Goodwin ] 

1. The Winter Coats - "Interlopers Dub"
2. Force Fields - "Fallonsscraph"
3. Dennis Goodwin - "Watch Your Step"
4. The Winter Coats - "Justine"

Report Closing Song: Mort Garson - "Cathedral of Pleasure"

4 -  Conclusions

The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Atlantic Canada (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia) was found to be adequate. This finding was supported by the ease in locating Homo sonicus in the surveyed zones, the diversity of sounds harvested from each subject, and the presence of rich punk and experimental music scenes, supported by independent labels, in the towns of Halifax, Saint John, and Fredericton.