PHS 001 | Attack! on Atlantic Canada

Report No.: PHS-001

Report Name: "Attack! on Atlantic Canada"

Report By: DX5

[ Listen & Download Broadcast ]

Transmission Start: 11.07.2022, 22:00 PST

Transmission End: 11.08.2022, 00:00 PST

Current Ship Coords: 46°08'55.6"N 66°42'45.3"W

Report

1-  Materials & Methods

Homo Sonicus Specimens (5) + Felis Sonicus Specimens (1):

• Cody Googoo - a human of Dartmouth, NS, CAN
• Jay Crocker - a human of Crousetown, NS, CAN
• Emily Saab - a human of Saint John, NB, CAN
• Jud Crandall - a human of Saint John, NB, CAN
• Boris the Cat - a feline of Fredericton, NB, CAN
• Dennis Goodwin - a human of Fredericton, NB, CAN

2-  Protocol

The Proboscis was used to extract sonic data from each specimen.

3-  Results

All subjects were fully cooperative upon sedation.

[ Abductee 1: Cody Googoo ]

1. Heavenly Blue - "Spending Time at the Bar"
2. Science Project - "Beautiful Human"
3. Talentless Hack - "Violence" (Coneheads)
4. Proper Suggestions - "Scorched Feelings"
5. Unreal Thought - "Howling in the Streets"
6. Mutated Void - "Adhd"
7. Gemstones - "Wanna Be Well"
8. Negative Rage - "Poor Born" (Dead Moon)
9. Ugly Son - "Maritime Metal"
10. Heavenly Blue - "Run Out of Town"
11. Booji Boys - "Lucky Citizen"
12. Science Project - "Deformed Depraved"

[ Abductee 2: Jay Crocker ]

1. JOYFULTALK - "Take It To The Grave"
2. Jay Crocker - "Dirty Old Nights"
3. Cousins & Duzheknew - "Throwing Rocks"
4. JOYFULTALK - "Ballad in 9"

[ Abductees 3 & 4: Emily Saab / Jud Crandall ]

1. Usse - "European Bleating"
2. Usse - "Bad Gateway"
3. Usse - "Neoliberalism Will Perish The Diversities of Agriculture"
4. Usse - "Peace / Agency" (Construction & Destruction)
   

[Recordings Collected by Jarvis]

1. Mort Garson - "This Is My Beloved"
2. Ataraxia - "Astral Projection"
3. Eric's Trip - "View Master"
4. Elevator - "Love"

[ Abductee 5: Boris the Cat ]

1. Women of the Pore - "The Lows"
2. ZEIT - "Haxan"
3. FAXES - "Call Out His Name"

[ Abductee 6: Dennis Goodwin ] 

1. The Winter Coats - "Interlopers Dub"
2. Force Fields - "Fallonsscraph"
3. Dennis Goodwin - "Watch Your Step"
4. The Winter Coats - "Justine"

Report Closing Song: Mort Garson - "Cathedral of Pleasure"

4 -  Conclusions

The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Atlantic Canada (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia) was found to be adequate. This finding was supported by the ease in locating Homo sonicus in the surveyed zones, the diversity of sounds harvested from each subject, and the presence of rich punk and experimental music scenes, supported by independent labels, in the towns of Halifax, Saint John, and Fredericton.