Report No.: PHS-005
Report Name: "Newfound Lands"
Report By: DX5
[ Listen & Download Broadcast ]
Transmission Start: 12.05.2022, 22:00 PST
Transmission End: 12.06.2022, 00:00 PST
Current Ship Coords: 46°20'37.8"N 47°15'00.9"W
Report
1- Materials & Methods
Homo Sonicus Specimens (6):
- Thomas Dakin Perron - a human of Saguenay, QC, CAN
- Eric Normand - a human of Rimouski, QC, CAN
- Poopy Beluga Project - a human of Gander, NL, CAN
- Aaron Powell - a human of Glovertown, NL, CAN
- Kira Sheppard - a human of St. John's, NL, CAN
- Bert Power - a human of St. John's, NL, CAN
2- Protocol
Abductees were subjected to extensive auditory probing using The Proboscis.
3- Results
[ Intro Song: seven nine mystics - "gambo line" ]
[ Abductee 1: Thomas Dakin Perron ]
- Crapaud - "Swineterlude"
- Crapaud - "Your Feet"
- Cure-Pipe - "Wiseman"
- De Laine - "Fermeture"
- Cure-Pipe "O.U.I."
- Crapaud - "End of Transmission"
[ Abductee 2: Eric Normand ]
- Le GGRIL - "L'impatience du grand Heron"
- Le GGRIL - "Ice Pill Sabotage"
[ Abductee 3: Poopy Beluga Project ]
- Poopy Beluga Project & Meatnap - "Anticholinergic Waltz"
- Poopy Beluga Project - "Industial society and its future"
- Poopy Beluga Project & Meatnap - "If I Was the Scout from Tea Eff Too"
- Poopy Beluga Project & Meatnap - "Clean Vines to Show Your Grandma"
- Poopy Beluga Project - "Fuhrer of Gander"
[ Abductee 4: Aaron Powell ]
- Fog Lake - "Losing Feeling"
- Fog Lake - "Jitterbug"
- Fog Lake - "Andy"
- Fog Lake - "Years Pass"
[Recordings Collected by Jarvis]
- Schizoid - "Obnoxious Attitude"
- Schizoid - "Death Deliverer"
- The Reaction - "The Kid's Arrived"
- The Ducats - "Off the Hook"
- The Robinovitches - "Once Shiny"
- The Robinovitches - "Edgy Bits"
- JLEMA - "什麼時候"
- Droners//Newfoundland - "Two"
[ Abductee 5: Kira Sheppard ]
- Kira Sheppard - "A Walk in the Rain"
- Kira Sheppard - "Baby Yaga's Journey Under the Covered Bridge"
- Kira Sheppard - "Idlewild"
- Kira Sheppard - "Meow"
[ Abductee 6: Bert Power ]
- B.C. Power - "Like Smoke"
- B.C. Power & Chris Pond - "Amestris"
- B.C. Power - "Avondale//Arnold's Cove"
- B.C. Power & Chris Pond - "The Ape and The Apis"
4- Conclusions
The ratio of subspecies Homo sonicus in relation to the broader Homo sapiens population of Newfoundland, Canada was found to be sufficient. The musical artifacts we procured from this region were dreamy and enchanting, and evoked nostalgia of lifetimes as humans which we have never lived.